On this month's Feature Friday, I wanted to share something from my cousin Sara. As a fellow dog mom, I could relate to this so very much. Our fur babies become our children and we never want to imagine having to lose them.
Have you ever been so close to an animal you didn’t know what you’d do without them when they were gone? Well recently that happened to me. In February 2023 I heard the most horrible words that no pet owner wants to hear “she has cancer”. My 10 year old Yorkie, Diva, was the dog I went through life with, the dog that got me through it all, the dog that helped me through depression and heartbreak, the dog that was there so loyal and true when everyone else had turned their backs on me, what was I to do?
In the weeks to come we fought hard and aggressive for a while but she wasn’t responding to any treatments and although her mind was still very much there, the cancer was depleting her of living her life to the absolute fullest. How was I suppose to say goodbye to her? My little side kick that had been by my side for 10 years. Every day I’d say, “Please just hold on a little longer”, but how selfish was that of me? It was more heartbreaking seeing her suffer than it was to say goodbye. Seven months after her diagnosis we had to make the hard decision to put her down, it wasn’t fair to have her keep suffering. It’s been 7 months and I still cry; I think the part that is most painful is going through all the firsts without her and making new memories without her. To the world she was just a dog but to me she was my everything and I will continue to grieve and miss Diva every day.
After losing Diva, I did a lot of research on pet loss and how to cope. Will you see them again in the after life? Is there such thing as pet psychics? Can they tell us if our pets are ok? Or are they just lost and scared? The answer is we really don’t know, some say all your pets greet you when you die, some say they never left you and their soul is still lingering in the house with you, watching you and confused as to why you aren’t talking to them and petting them. I guess we will never truly know until we know.
The pain of losing her was so great that we decided to get a puppy. My heart had a void that desperately needed to be filled and it would be a good distraction. While it is very much a distraction, I find myself constantly call her Diva’s name and I hate when I do that. The other day I was looking at the puppy’s birthday July 19th, well that’s weird, Diva passed away July 1st. I’ll take it as a sign and say, “Thanks Diva for sending her to me”, even in her afterlife she continues to love and support me.
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and as someone who doesn’t have children I take the ownership of my dogs to another level, they are my children, they are my life and losing them will never get any easier.
If I could take anything away from this experience it’s to be kinder, and gentler with your fur babies always kiss them goodbye when you leave and do your best to completely spoil them rotten because you never know when you’ll have to say goodbye forever.
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