Final Farewell

On Saturday, February 10, 2024 we said our ‘final farewell’ to my husband Tim. I spent the last several months preparing for this day (mentally and physically). Finding the perfect pictures, thinking of the perfect theme, ways to have his personality shine through and to be able to honor him in a special way. This was much easier said than done but nothing is impossible.

It’s actually interesting how I came upon the idea of a final farewell, believe it or not, it was Tim’s idea. While I can be into a little hocus pocus from time to time, Tim came to me in a dream a couple months after he passed. He was dressed in an all black suit (looking mighty sharp if I may add), in a room with all of the people that loved him. The room was on an island that we’ve spent many many times together with friends and family – Tracy Wildlife. In my dream, he expressed that he did not want this to be a celebration of life, instead, it was a farewell. He told me that with his death being so sudden, there were so many people he didn’t get to say goodbye to and vice versa. In my dream, he escorted each person out the door, one by one for them to individually say goodbye to him. Their own farewell, if you will. When I woke up I was so amazed that he was able to communicate in such great detail with me about this. That was the day I decided to have a final farewell for my husband, instead of a celebration of life.  

It’s funny you know... we think we know how we would handle certain situations, until we are in them ourselves. I initially wanted a very small intimate gathering. However, the more thought that went into it, the more I realized all the lives he touched. There was no way I’d be able to get away with something ‘small’, Tim's presence was too big for that.  I always assumed (should the day have ever come) I would have done things far differently than I actually did but after living in grief and being in it, I did what was best for me. While I wanted others to get closure or find peace in Tim’s passing, I realized that I had to do what made sense to me. I had to do what made my soul feel good about the situation. Planning it for a later date was possibly my brain not wanting to close that chapter. If I did, that meant it was real. Deciding to have his farewell two days before his birthday and three days before Mardi Gras seemed like a good fit. Though he wasn't big on his birthday, he did love him some Mardi Gras celebrations!

I’m still not sure how people do funerals right after a person dies. There are so many months and lapses in time periods for me that I wouldn’t have been able to pull it together and honor him appropriately had I done it any sooner. Then to follow of course, were the first holidays without him. It didn’t seem fitting to do a farewell then either. So, I landed on February 10th. Some days I was wishing I hadn’t waited so long, other days I was wishing I had waited longer. Either way, we all gathered for a beautiful sunny day to say our final farewell to Tim.  

As I got up to share a few words about my husband, my heart was so full to look around the room and see so many faces of people that loved him. So many different walks of life, so many different stories and variations of Tim, all in one room. I am grateful for those that came and shared the day with us. We had some of Tim’s favorite southern foods, we played some of his favorite music and we filled a reception room with people he loved. To end the day, we did a beautiful balloon release as our final farewell to Timothy Albert Coleman aka Thouwow. May he continue to fly high amongst the seas and the stars. He will forever be missed.  

Thank you again to everyone who showed love not just for Tim but for me too, it means more to me than you'll ever know. Here are a few videos from the farewell.

Tim Coleman February 12, 1986 - June 26, 2023