When I first lost Tim, I was reaching and grabbing for anything and everything that I could to help me get through. This was when I realized, grief support groups were slim to none. Then to add a grief support group for suicide loss, made it even harder to find support. After endless searching, I was able to find two groups and tried them both, without much feeling. I just didn’t feel like they were a fit for me. Although, I was also very lost as a person and didn’t know who “me” really was anymore. Aside from that, I just didn’t feel any benefit from them.
Over the last 10 months, I’ve been able to find a few other groups so I at least know they do exist, they are just hard to find. Again, none of which I felt were for me. Well, if I can’t find what I’m looking for... why don’t I just create it? I mean, no, I’m not a licensed professional and no, I don’t have any schooling in the grief and therapy department BUT what I do have is a whole hell of a lot of experience. Twelve years of learning about mental health through living with it daily, five years of suicide ideation (turned suicide), and what feels like a gazillion years of therapy. I’ve been around grief and loss since a very young age. I did a peer lead support group for my ITP. I could totally do a support group for grief!
After I gave myself a little pep talk, I did my due diligence and I researched grief support, I read many articles, I downloaded numerous resources and finally decided to take the leap. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen... nobody shows? Then nobody shows and I at least tried.
So, this past Wednesday I held my first peer lead Zoom grief support group and guess what?! People showed up! People from all walks of life, different stages of grief, variety of ages, it was great. Although it was unfortunate circumstances we were gathering under, I was so happy to see other faces that could personally understand how I was feeling. During grief, we often feel so alone but, in that moment, in that one hour of my day, I felt so connected.
Grief is hard, healing is hard, figuring out life is hard but we don’t have to do it alone. We decided to meet every 3 weeks and I even added a few Saturday’s for the people that can’t make it during the week.
If you are grieving and feel like you could use some support, please reach out and I can give you some information on our group. Whether you’ve been grieving for 5 days or 55 years, all are welcome. No matter who you may have lost, we are here to support you.
I’m kind of just winging it with life lately, I mean, what do I have to lose. Everything is worth a try once (well almost everything). Don’t worry though, I do have structure for the grief meetings! We will have certain topics to discuss on different meetings, we will have times when we honor our loved ones, and there will be time to share what may be working for you.
Our upcoming ZOOM schedule will be as follows:
Wednesday 5/8 at 5pm PST
Saturday 5/11 @ 8am PST
Wednesday 5/29 @ 5pm PST
Saturday 6/1 @ 8am PST
Wednesday 6/19 @ 5pm PST
In addition, I want to share with you a resource that has been very helpful for me. If you suffer from anxiety, worry, intrusive thoughts, panic, flashbacks, etc. Here is a grounding technique to help you try to get through it.
It’s called the 5,4,3,2,1 technique. It’s purpose? To turn your attention away from the thoughts, memories, worries, etc. And refocus on the present moment.
Five, Four, Three, Two, One Method
Five things you can see
Four things you can touch
Three things you can hear
Two things you can smell
One thing you can taste
Hopefully It's something that may be able to help you when you are feeling like you’re struggling and you just can’t get your mind off of the “bad”.
Please always remember that you don’t have to be alone on your grief journey. There is support out there, you just have to reach for it. We are here to help, if you’d like it. You matter!
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