Some of you may have heard this before and some of you may have not. Either way, stick with me here :)
Just Let them.
If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.
Let them lose you.
You were never theirs, because you were always your own.
So let them.
Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you. Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.
Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to. - Cassie Phillips
It has taken me a really long time to learn the ‘let them’ concept. As I got more into Stoicism, I started to see a lot of things clearer. I started to notice my effort and doings compared to others effort (or lack thereof) and doings. Regardless of how they treat you, regardless of what they say about you... let them. Do not like the world make you hard. We cannot control what other people do and say about us and really, it doesn’t matter. All we should be worried about is being good humans. If more people focused on being a good human, there’d probably be less negative ‘let them’ moments and more positive ‘let them’ moments.
All we can do is try the best we can and then tomorrow, try to be better than the day before. We cannot control what other people say and do but we can control how we respond to them. Whether good or bad, try to be even keel. Getting upset over things out of our control is a waste of time and get you absolutely nowhere. So, if they don’t like you... let them. If they want to make you the topic of conversation... let them. What they think of you does not concern you. Sounds a little crazy right? It takes a lot of self-discipline to ‘let them’. It’s something you truly have to work and practice at, especially someone like me; who used to care and worry way too much about what others thought/said about me. But now, I just let them. They can take the opportunity to get to know me, or not. They can ask the questions to understand me, or not. They can like me, or not. They can make assumptions about me, or not. Either way, let them. They are not worth disrupting your inner peace. They are not worth disturbing all the work you have put into becoming a better human being.
Treat others with kindness and compassion always. Having an open mind and heart to the people around you; without getting taken advantage of. You still have to stand your ground and have boundaries, but you can do this in a healthy and courteous way. Again, this takes discipline and practice.
Life is so much more peaceful and freeing when you just let them. When you no longer worry about all the things you can’t control. When you no longer let a persons words and actions dictate how you feel. You will feel lighter. Carrying the worry and judgement of others is heavy, so not only let them but let that shit go.
Every day, do the best you can with what you have right now and do it kindly. At the end of the day, look back and ask yourself, did I do the best I could today? You may notice some areas that need improvement, try to be better the next day. You may notice some areas you did exceptionally well in, do even better tomorrow. Keep your focus on you and you only. Focus on being a good human to others and the world will be a better place. Have patience, have understanding, have sympathy and have compassion.
You can only control you and nothing else. So, when the time comes, let them and let that shit go.
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