So, I’ve been reading Mel Robbin’s book ‘The Let Them Theory’. I’m no stranger to the concept as I’ve followed her for a long time but I had never actually read about the origins of the theory and the science behind it. As I read page by page, word for word, things resonate with me so deeply. We have no control over other people, places and things. Life is going to happen, people are going to talk, situations are going to come about and there’s not a damn thing you can do besides.... let them. You can’t change them, you can’t control them, you can’t make them go away. You just have to let them.
The let them theory is actually two parts, which I didn’t know until I started to read the book. Let them is followed by let me. Let them talk, let things happen, let whatever is going on go on BUT then.... let me decide how to respond, IF I’m going to respond. Now, in my opinion, not many things are worth responding to. It’s not worth the stress, the time or the energy. However, occasionally we get those certain ‘things’ that make letting them, much harder. We are so disgusted and baffled by the occurrence that it makes letting them very hard to do. This is where we find patience in the let them theory. Learning to allow things to happen, accepting that we can’t control others emotions, and just let them. The real power lies within us, when we then, let me.
Now in theory, it sounds simple, but we are emotional beings. We do tend to let things get to us; not being invited to that gathering, people talking behind our backs, not getting that job we applied for,
The key is to not react but to respond and you don’t have to do this right away. Sit on it. Think on it. Sleep on it. Then ‘let me’, respond how I wish.
I’m finding that a lot of the things I’ve allowed to bother me in the past, I should have just applied ‘let them’ to. I’ve spent countless hours worrying, stressing, and being upset by other people’s words and actions and it was a complete waste of my time. Of course, in the moment, I didn’t realize but now I refuse to let anyone make me feel less than. Now I’m able to realize I should never let a single person, place or thing have that type of power over me. As I’ve been putting the let them theory into practice, I find that I feel much lighter. I no longer allow people to have the power over me to cause inner turmoil. I don’t need to worry about how they feel, or what they are doing, it’s not mine to carry nor is it any concern of mine. They are going to do it regardless, so... you may as well just let them.
As I’m learning chapter by chapter about letting them, I’m finding more and more power inside to let me. It’s almost a very freeing experience to not let those things get to us anymore. I’m learning how to use my throat chakra and speak up when needed but I’m also realizing that somethings don’t need responses. Some times you just need to let them...
I know this concept seems easier said than done, but once you start to pay attention to how you are reacting to people (not responding) and how emotionally driven we can be as humans, you start to see that it’s so worth letting them. I can say that my awareness has helped me work through some difficult moments, especially lately. Fact is, we can’t change it. We can’t undo it. We can’t stop it. So take a deep breath and just let them my friends.
You’ll feel the empowerment within you when you apply this the first few times. You’ll realize that what you used to react to, no longer deserves your energy. Why worry, stress and make yourself sick over something you can’t control? It’s just silly. We have to find our power and I know that this is no easy feat BUT it does work if you work at it. It’s not something that you’ll just wake up and start doing, you will have to put in the work and be consciously aware of people, places and things. You’ll have to learn how to regulate your emotions and not let them over power you. You’ll have to learn how to take a step back and sometimes you’ll even have to cut ties with certain people. The process isn’t always pretty, especially in the beginning, at least from my experience. However, now it’s getting easier for me to just let them. Then I look inward and let me, whatever that looks like.
I think we’ve all been at a point in life where we’ve allowed someone or something to live rent free in our minds and hearts for far too long. This book is teaching me that I will never let anyone live rent free in me again. That is where the power lies.
It’s no secret that I’ve been faced with some of the hardest things that life can throw at you. I’ve had many feelings and emotions towards people, places and things over the past year and a half; but no more. People will be who people will be, you can’t change them, so why even worry about it? Things are going to come up that will be unsettling for you, but you can’t change them either, so why worry about it? Simple.. DON’T! Just let them...
Letting them also allows people to show who they truly are and I can tell you, some people thrive and live off of getting a rise out of you. So when you let them, it tends to throw them off or surprise them. They are used to you reacting and now you are setting a boundary and putting your foot down for yourself. You’re respecting yourself for not giving into them.
I highly encourage you to read this book, especially if you struggle with letting go of things. The way she writes it, the words she uses, the perspective she puts on it, makes you want to implement this every day. We aren’t perfect beings BUT we can strive to be better today than we were yesterday and I do this by letting them, let me.
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