It makes my eyes swell at the very thought of even writing this, but you all know writing is therapeutic for me so here I am; with my already unhealed heart, trying to process another loss. Elizabeth was such a light in this world and I’m not just saying that because she was one of my best friends, she truly exuberated and radiated light everywhere she went. With her beautiful warm smile, her long blonde hair, her natural claws that could gouge anyone's eyes out LOL She just glowed everywhere she went. Aside from her natural beauty, her soul was like no other. She cared SO much about everyone she loved. We joke that her favorite words were, ‘I’m sorry’. She never wanted to inconvenience anyone or be a burden whatsoever. Even though she was NEVER any of those things... she still apologized LOL She was always offering her help and services and if she couldn’t help you she was amazing at networking and getting you in touch with the right people. Her sense of humor? Oh.. It was hilarious. Then again, to be in our small friend circle, you kind of have to be funny (and a little crazy), which she checked all the boxes.
I am fortunate to have met Elizabeth 15 years ago through Julie. She accepted me into their friend circle from day one with open arms and a very open heart. We were of course much younger then and completely living, young, wild and free... together. She was our dancing queen! If music was playing you’d find her on the dance floor (or near it) whipping that long blonde hair around and moving to every beat. She was even quite the singer (not a very good one but that never stopped us). Her finger was her microphone and it made me laugh every time. That is definitely something that will live on through the rest of us. After a night out on the town, you might have found her eating seven layer dip with her hands, you just never knew what was going to come out of her and I loved it. Now I’m sure some of you are wondering why we call her INA, because she was INAppropriate sometimes! Nothing ever too crazy but enough to earn the title that’s for sure.
You know what else I loved about Elizabeth, her deep compassion for others. No matter what she was going through, no matter how busy her life was, she always wanted to know how YOU were. She worried so much about the people she loved, sometimes a little too much but that’s what made us love her even more. Her heart was always so pure and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a mean bone in her body... like ever, at all. Elizabeth was active in what felt like everything she could! She had her own business when I met her, which she eventually sold and opened a new business with her husband Dave. Together they did outstanding work. She was involved in so many different things, I couldn’t keep up after awhile. She was always on the go and it was always for something positive and beneficial to others.
When we found out that Elizabeth was moving to Texas in 2021, our hearts broke. Selfishly we didn’t want her to leave but we understood that it was what was best for her and her family at the time. We had a fun girls night before her send off and were able to create even more memories. We laughed, we cried, and all acted a little INA. The thought of her not being close to us was the hardest. We couldn’t just get in the car to see her, we would now have to plan ahead, and take a plane ride. We wanted her closer to us but like I said, those were our own selfish reasons.
Approximately one year(ish) after Elizabeth moved to Texas, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. After several surgeries they sent her home to begin the process that comes with a diagnosis like that. The healing process from the surgeries alone was brutal, then to do chemo on top of it, she was a trooper. Over the course of the next year, her cancer had metastasized. First to her liver, then to her lungs. She did several rounds of chemo, she tried numerous holistic approaches, and never once did she say she was done. Never once did she say she didn’t want to do this anymore. Her soul was full of fire and she was going to fight until the very end. And fight she did... her determination and grit was admirable. I mean, this girl went down swinging. There was one thing we never did though, we never lost hope. We all kept hope alive because if you don’t have hope, you don’t have much.
Julie flew out to see Elizabeth religiously every three months and Carol and I would join her when we could. Having all four of us together filled a void in my heart that I was so deeply needing. We were like the Golden Girls reunited each time. I remember laying next to Elizabeth in bed, shortly after my husband died and she said, ‘honey, how are you really doing?’ Here she was fighting for life, battling this ugly, nasty disease and she was worried about me. Her soul and intentions were always so pure. Just another reason we loved her so much.
As her health was declining, it was making the trips all that much harder. It’s a terrible feeling when someone you love is going through something terrible and you can’t be there all the time. We couldn’t just get up and see her. She was too far away for us to be there as often as we wanted. With each trip, we started to see her getting worse and worse (but still full of fight). Our trips then became more and more about creating memories. You can buy all the ‘things’ in the world but none of them matter in the end. What matters is the time... the time we kidnapped her to drive around and look at Christmas lights (Christmas was her favorite), the time we watched a Lifetime movie and she always predicted the outcome, and who can forget the time we recreated a ridiculous JC Penny photoshoot. Our visits became about our time together. I’ll be forever grateful that we got to spend good quality time with her three weeks before she passed. I’m thankful that we were able to get her out of the house in her fancy, furry, blue sweatsuit for some tea and crumpets. I’m blessed that I got to see her beautiful smile one last time. We were set to fly out Tuesday morning to go see her and Monday evening we got the news. We were too late. But, Elizabeth knew what she was doing. She wanted our last memories with her to be good ones. She didn’t want us to see her during her end of life. Remember me saying she always worried about other people!? She is now resting easy, she is no longer in pain or suffering... she already warned us that she would push me down the stairs or do random things to freak us out (which we laughed way too hard about) Side note: If you’ve seen that movie The Craft and the bus driver says, ‘watch for the weirdos out there’, and she replies, ‘sir, we are the weirdos’. That is us to a T! Just a group of weirdos that believe our loved ones are still with us everyday and will certainly send us little reminders. It brings comfort to us.
Sometimes life just isn't fair. It's down right awful. Elizabeth is already so deeply missed. I could honestly write about her forever. If you’ve made it this far, you too are a trooper! I ask a favor, that you say a prayer, or put out good vibes to the universe or whatever you choose, however you choose, but please keep her family in your thoughts. Her husband Dave, daughter Anna and the whole family need to be wrapped in love and support.
Ironically March is Colon Cancer Awareness month, how that all worked out beats the hell out of me. Please take care of yourself, schedule those preventative maintenance visits, don’t wait to go to the doctor, listen to your body when it’s trying to tell you something.
Remember, tomorrow is never promised. Do the things NOW. Make the memories NOW. Be present NOW.
We love you Elizabeth; yesterday, today and forever. Thank you for allowing me to share life with you.
PS) Fuck Cancer!
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