Lately I’ve been presented with some amazing opportunities on my advocacy journey. I’ve been getting more active in my community and getting the purpose of Home Team Creations out there. When asked where the name came from, I usually need to take a deep breath and then I say, ‘I lost my husband to suicide last year and it was a phrase that we always used to reassure we’d always be there for each other”. It’s a name with not only a meaning but a purpose. It’s helped me figured out what MY purpose in this life is. It’s been a slippery slope but I think I’m starting to figure it out.
The slippery part, my purpose has derived from such tragedy. I hate the way that I’ve had to find my purpose, by my husband’s death, while at the same time; so grateful for the doors and opportunities it has opened for me. Some days it’s hard to navigate between the grief and joy but I know that he would want me to be happy and thriving. I may not be thriving just yet but doing advocacy work sure does make me happy. It also allows me the opportunity to let him live on through our purpose and mission.
As I navigate these new opportunities, I’m learning that while I LOVE our mental health merchandise line, my soul is being pulled more into public speaking about mental health. Again, a slippery slope. Can I do both successfully? Do I need to make one a primary focus and the other a secondary? Helping people is my passion and if I can make a difference in just ONE person’s life by sharing my story and experiences, then I’m good with that. You don’t need me to tell you that our mental health system is pretty screwed up. Not only is the system screwed up, so many people aren’t educated on mental health as a whole. I find that the people with the loudest opinions, are usually the ones that don’t understand mental illness. This is where I take it upon myself to try and help them understand. To try and explain to them that it is not a choice. To try and help them see... it’s a real problem in our society and it all starts with educating those around us and getting them the help they desperately need and deserve.
Most days I’m okay talking about Tim’s struggles and what our life was like and what lead him to depart this earth. Other days, it makes me physically ill to talk about because it’s just so unfair. Another slippery slope. Some days you’re the bug and some days you’re the windshield. Often times I just speak from my heart. Just like I do in these blog posts. I don’t rehearse anything, I don’t really have a script, I just kind of go with whatever I’m feeling. However, the more speaking opportunities I’m given, the more I realize I really do need some type of script LOL Maybe just an outline but talking points are a must.
I’m very excited to venture out into other communities that I haven’t had much exposure to. I have a speaking engagement to the Latin Community next month and I’ve been invited to several CalPride events for the LGBTQ+ Community. Two communities that really need mental health assistance and resources. I’ve been doing my own research so that I can be sure to offer the advice and resources that they need. I mean it when I say, education is key and knowledge is power.
We MUST break the stigma around mental illness. We have to change the narrative. We will change the way it’s looked at and talked about. It just may take some time. The more awareness we bring to the subject, the more that can be done.
While I feel like I’m teetering on a slippery slope a lot of days, I still have my bearings. As long as I don’t fall and bust my ass (I tend to be a bit clumsy), then I’ll keep riding the slope. One day it won’t be so slippery and one day it will ALL make sense. The Universe has put me here for a reason. As difficult as grief can be, I have to find some joy in the moments that I have gratitude for. There is zero doubt in my mind that Tim and the Universe have joined forces to propel me into something magical.
If you made it this far, thank you. I thought it was time to share some positivity on my blog instead of the harshness that grief can be. Plus, it’s mental health awareness month after all AND in case you were wondering, June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness. Boy do I have a lot to say about that one!
Stay tuned my friends!
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