Let me set this up for you.. Summer was in full swing. The weather was beautiful. Work had been busy. The pandemic was running rampant. People have reached a new level of crazy. The San Joaquin Valley had become a “hot spot” with numbers spiking. I had 4 meetings on my calendar for work. As I gathered my things for the first meeting, I feel my nose start to bleed. Shit! No no no.. NOT right now!! These weren't out of the ordinary for me but timing couldn't have been more off.
I sat in my office, impatiently pinching my nose hoping it would stop and wondering what the heck man?! Where did this come from?! WHY right now!? Please just stop bleeding! I text my boss telling him I had to miss the meeting and by the way I might be bleeding out in my office.
Side note: Everyone at work knows about my blood disease. This is something that took a lot of thought but I can talk about that later. Back to the nose bleed! 🩸
My nose bled for about 35-45 minutes (I say in my Pops voice) before my boss said, let me just take you to the hospital. I kept saying I was fine. It’s going to be fine. Even though, I clearly was not fine! 🤦🏻♀️ I grabbed my purse and a box of Kleenex and agreed to go.
Luckily the hospital was close by. I had to go in by myself because well... COVID 🤷🏻♀️ BUT my boss is amazing and he stayed right outside the ER until my mom could get there. Yes, I'm a grown woman who still needs her mother! Truth is, when I bleed, it's usually pretty serious so I can't get mad at people for being concerned. Although they couldn’t physically be with me, I think just seeing me through the windows was helpful. See I’m doing ok, see I’ll be fine, see I’m not dead 😂
When they finally call me to the check in window (still bleeding from the nose about an hour and half now), I casually mention I have ITP and that my platelets might be a little low. I did notice that morning that my gums bled a little extra when brushing but didn’t think much of it 🤦🏻♀️ I don't know how but I always tend to stay pretty calm in these situations. It's kind of weird actually.
By the time they called me back my nose had stopped bleeding - hallelujah!!! I almost didn’t stay. The hospital was the last place I wanted to be during the pandemic. THE LAST! Maybe I just go home and see my hematologist. I called my husband to see if he would try and get me an appointment and he said absolutely not! I was already at the hospital and I needed to get checked out. I mean, he was right but what a hassle! 🤪
They take my blood and I escape to the restroom for a moment... When I came back the doctor and nurse were both in my room and looked like they had seen a ghost 👻 I smiled and said, well hello! The doctor in complete shock said, “miss Kristy, your platelets are at a 2 it's amazing you’re walking around right now!” The nurse chimes in, “they are really really low.“. I too was surprised my platelets were THAT low. Then the doctor said the thing I hate hearing most... “You aren’t going anywhere, we are going to admit you.” 😩 Insert heavy heavy sigh here.
Again, I smiled and said OK. I mean, what can a girl do? They wanted to bring in the hematologist and see what he recommended. I sat in the ER room by myself for a little while, hospital staff in space suites, secluded from all other patients... How is this happening? Why is it happening? I was supposed to never have this happen again. The first time was supposed to be the only time. What is causing this? I've been feeling great, how come this is happening to me? Things have been going SO well! Why?!
I‘m one of those people that doesn’t like or want anyone to ever worry about me. I constantly reassure people that I’m fine when I’m not. I make jokes about my health because humor is better than tears. I do everything I can to make sure others think I’m OK! And here I was... NOT OK! Although I kept it together when the doctors and nurses were with me, inside I was freaking out. I let a couple tears out while on the phone with a friend but quickly sucked them back in. I didn't want anyone to know that I was truly scared.
The hematologist came in and decided to do a platelet transfusion with a dose of dex steroids. He seemed a little rushed when he was talking to me and acted very casual, which I didn't care for. (One thing I've become very critical of the last few years is bed side manner!) Well... world pandemic also means blood shortage. Good to know, right? Great! Now what?! The blood bank at the hospital only had one bag of platelets left and I needed more than that. After a few phone calls they were able to locate some in Sacramento and get them brought in. Such a weird thought that I was at a hospital and there was NO blood/platelet supply. On the other hand the comforting factor was IF something did happen to me, I was at the best place I could possibly be... the place where they save lives every day!
They started my transfusion in the ER while I waited for a room to open up. I updated family and friends and cracked a couple jokes about being in the hospital during a pandemic. Only Kristy! LOL I was eventually taken upstairs where I settled in. Later that evening my other bags of platelets showed up and they kept the transfusion going.
Yenno, the universe works in mysterious ways... Here I was at a hospital, where my family can't visit because, well COVID, feeling a little scared because, well DYING, and then they bring me in a roommate. Typically, I'm not a roommate type of gal. I didn't have problems sharing as a child but I certainly don't like sharing a room as an adult! I had my curtain closed but obviously you hear everything going on because you're in the same room. My heart was breaking for her as she was asking if her family could see her and they said no. It broke even more when she asked them what if she dies, can they see her then and they said NO! COVID has definitely been the killjoy of the world lately. As they go to give her meds she tells them her name (you always have to say your name and birthdate before they give you anything in the hospital) Well, turns out - I knew this woman! She had lived next to my aunt for many many years, she knew me from the time I was a little kid... it was wild! I couldn't jump out of my bed fast enough! When I told her who I was she said, "All be damned Krissy!" (She always called me Krissy) We spent the next 24 hours talking, laughing and knowing that we at least had each other during this crazy time.
The transfusion did it's job and boosted my numbers the next morning. While they weren't to my comfort level, the hematologist seemed to think I was fine enough to go home. I was uncomfortable with his decision but again, who wants to be in the hospital during a pandemic!? I scheduled an appointment with my hematologist immediately so that I at least had that to put me at ease. Packed my belongs (took the hospital socks too!) and away I went.
The steroid treatment this time was much different than before. They did a high dosage for a short few days. My body didn't enjoy this either. I felt sick to my stomach, my knees were weak, my body ached, I felt absolutely miserable. I kept reminding myself, this is only temporary! You've gotten through this before, you'll get through this again. I have to keep reminding myself things like that or else I'll go bat shit crazy!
About a week or two later - I was back to feeling like myself again! Went on the regiment of routine blood work EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Do you know how many weeks are in a year? 52 weeks. That is 52 pricks! 52 times in one year. Let the journey continue!
Who knew a nosebleed would lead to such excitement!
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Waiting patiently for a room to open up as they start my platelets transfusion.
Transfusion number two!
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