Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people? Why the most compassionate people get dealt a shit hand of cards? Have you ever wondered how unfair life can be sometimes? Have you lost sleep at night racking your brain full of why is this happening? Why do the people we love have to suffer? This has been me lately. Upset, wondering, curious and searching for answers to help me understand.
If you too answered yes to even one of those questions, this blog is for you... is for us. Aside from Tim dying, I have been going through another life altering situation. A situation that has me asking all of those things I mentioned above. Now, before you say something like, ‘life isn’t fair’, ‘god has a plan’, ‘be thankful for what you do have’, ‘pray about it’... please put all of that aside for the moment, while you read this because in my mind right now, not a single one of those replies is going to help.
I recently finished a book on Stoicism called ‘Discipline is Destiny’ by Ryan Holiday. A good chunk of this book is in regard to time. What we do with it, how we use it to our advantage, the way we embrace it and the way we respect it. We are all given the same 24 hours in a day, don’t be foolish with your time. And most importantly, please remember, we can’t control time. The sun will continue to rise and set day after day.
We’ve all heard the saying, ‘tomorrow is never promised’ or we’ve heard Tim McGraw sing about, ‘live like you were dying’. Yet, most of us don’t take those seriously. Most of us assume we will have tomorrow. Newsflash! NONE of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Not you, not me, not our family or our friends. We get so wrapped up in life; careers, kids, bills, daily responsibilities and we are forgetting that Garth Brooks said, ‘if tomorrow never comes. ..’
If tomorrow never does come, what would your life review look like when you cross over. If your life were a movie after you die, what would you see? All of the times you were too tired to meet that friend for coffee, all the days you spent on the couch binge watching Netflix, all of the long hours at work, all of the worry you did over the small things, all the times your kids asked you to play and you replied ‘not now’, or that football game you missed because staying home just felt better. All of these are a disrespect to time.
As humans we need to make a conscious, determined decision to embrace our time. To be more productive with our inner self. Stop with the excuses, stop with the procrastination, stop with the ‘tomorrow’ mentality. All we have is right NOW. This very moment is what was given to us. Put those devices down and BE present. Pay attention to your surroundings, activities, family and friends. Do something useful with your time and embrace the fact that we may not wake up tomorrow for another day.
Many people are out there fighting just to stay alive. Many people are terminally ill and trying to make up for lost time. Many people would give anything for just a little more time. Yet, here a lot of us are, wasting it and taking advantage of it.
With the life events I’ve encountered in the past year alone, nothing has been driven harder into my heart and soul than, I need to live more. I need to live on for those people in my life that can’t or didn’t. I need to better utilize my time, I need to make time for the people I love, I need to prioritize my time and goals and stay consistent.
Living a life of ‘I wish I could have...” or ‘I should have done...’ or ‘if only I had known...’ is not a way to live. You will be eaten alive by these awful thoughts, when the power is within us to make a difference.
Life is going to happen and at some point you’ll find yourself saying, ‘I just wish I had more time’... It’s never too late to start. It’s never too late to prioritize your time. Embrace time right here, right now. We truly never know if tomorrow will come. We aren’t promised a tomorrow.
Yes, it’s bullshit that life can try to knock you down over and over. Yes, life is crazy and busy at times. Yes, we always want more. But find a way to embrace what you have. Make the best out of this moment today. If you’re reading this, that means you woke up this morning, it means you get another chance to embrace time and do something with it.
I’ve felt like I haven’t gotten enough time on several occasions, even right now to this day, I struggle with respecting time. I ask myself daily, why is this happening? I curse at the sky and ask what did we do to deserve this? Whatever it is you are going through, you cannot control time. However, what I/we can control is what to do with my time.
We may never know why bad things happen to good people. We certainly know that these things are out of our control. Realizing there is nothing we can do besides kick, scream, cuss and cry. We can do all the things to help and support but often the outcome is the same. So please, if you do anything today, respect the time you have. Make it count.
Eat the cake. Call that friend. Hug a little tighter. Say yes more often. Say I love you before you hang up the phone. Take all the pictures. Go on that trip. Stress less and enjoy more.
And definitely, definitely, eat the cake!
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