I’m not sure what it was this time… maybe I was already feeling run down so when my relapse hit, it hit so much harder. Maybe I was already exhausted so it wore me out faster. I have no freaking clue but whatever it was this time, kicked my ass.
I try to always stay positive, remain hopeful and push forward. This time, I’m laying on the floor, waving my white flag and throwing my hands up. The feeling of defeat is real.
This time was soooo different. My body felt like it just couldn’t handle it. It took me longer to recover, it took me longer to get my numbers up, took me longer on the prednisone, it all just took too long.
I was out of the office for THREE weeks… THREE! Ain’t nobody got time for that! I’m thankful for a great boss and company that allowed me to work from home and take a couple days off as needed. But this cannot happen frequently. I am not about it!
I was very in my feels this time too… my heart was heavy and I was mad! Like raging mad (partly due to the prednisone though!) I’ve accepted this disease for the most part but then… then it just does something that has you throwing your hands in the air saying, really dude?! Gimmie a break!!! 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I didn’t have the energy… the energy to hold conversations, the energy to pretend that I was fine, hell - I barely had the energy to shower (but I know how important that is, HA!)
This time was just different and I don‘t know why… but I don’t like it!
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